"I want to scare beavers."

This strange conversation took place this afternoon while we walked in the woods near a beaver dam we never reached:

Benjamin: I want to scare beavers.

Me: Don't do that.

Benjamin: Why?

Me: Why would you want to scare beavers?

Benjamin: If those beavers bother us, I will try to scare them.

Me: They're not going to bother us.

Benjamin: Well, I'm going to scare them.

Me: I really don't understand why.

Benjamin: Oh, for fun.

Me: How would you feel if someone scared you just for fun?

Benjamin: I want to scare beavers just for fun even though I don't want anyone to scare me just for fun.

language gap

I was pointing out a gap between the top storm window and the library window frame, a gap that was letting in some of the snow that's still falling from our most recent winter storm.

Benjamin came into the library and said, "'I hate gaps!' he said angrily."

After we had suppressed our laughter, I said, "He said it angrily, did he?"

Benjamin: "Yes, he did."

Me: "Why did he say it angrily?"

Benjamin: "Because I'm angry about the gap."

Me: "Oh, I see."

Benjamin: "What's a gap?"

symbolism

Benjamin showed me a picture from his Peter Pan book. "What's this, papa?"

Me: "I don't know."

Benj: "But what do you think it is?"

Me: "I think it's probably the bottle of poison Captain Hook uses to try to kill Peter Pan."

Benj: "Why is there a skull in it?"

Me: "The skull isn't really there. It just represents death."

Later, Benjamin showed me the cover of Good Night Goon:



Benjamin: "Why is there a brain in that room?"

Me: "I don't know."

Benjamin: "Maybe it represents 'scary'..."

misapprehension

This afternoon, I found Benjamin, dressed as a pirate, sword fighting with his mother, dressed as a shark.

I said, "I didn't know sharks could fence."

Nathalie, dressed like a shark: "No, I'm Captain Hook."

Me: "Captain Hook with a shark's head?"

Benjamin, dressed like a pirate: "She's disguised for Halloween!"

Me, to Benjamin: "So if she's Captain Hook, who are you?"

Benjamin, dressed like a pirate: "I'm Fido Flip-flop [a circus dog from Uncle Wiggily's Adventures]. I'm just disguised as a pirate for Halloween."

I didn't bother asking how a circus-dog-dressed-like-a-pirate could hold his own in a sword fight with Captain Hook.

Postscript: After hearing me read this post to his mother, Benjamin corrected me: "We weren't really fighting!"

echoes of Halloween at Fashion Square Mall

bb: What are these things?

me: They're called mannequins.

bb: What are they doing there?

me: They're showing us how these clothes look.

bb: Why they don't have heads?

me: I think you're supposed to picture your own head if you like the clothes.

bb: I like those clothes!

me: Well, sweetheart, those are women's clothes...

bb: If we had a zombie, he could take off his head and put it on the mannequin!

eye of the beholder

Benjamin brought home this drawing today:

I said, "Oh, this is a guy standing in the middle of a bunch of trees, isn't it?"

Benjamin replied, "No it's not!"

"What is it?"

"It's a cyclops!" he said pointing to the one-eyed fellow in the center.

"Well, yes, but what are these?" I asked pointing to what I thought were trees.

"Those are trees."

"So it is a guy standing in the middle of a bunch of trees!"

"No it's not!"

"These things to his immediate sides, though. Those aren't trees. Are they Polyphemus's sheep?"

"No!" he insisted. "Those are the things he's holding!"

Were we going to repeat the pattern? "And," I asked patiently, "are the things he's holding sheep?"

"No, they're juice bottles!"

little blue monster

me: I have an idea. Let's go on a treasure hunt tomorrow.

bb: A treasure hunt?

me: Yes, we'll take your bucket into the woods and hunt for treasure.

bb: What treasure?

me: Well, we'll have to make a list of thing we want to find. We'll write up a list of five things.

bb: How about a blue monster?

me: Well, OK, that can be one of the five things I suppose. But I was thinking about treasure like river rocks, pine cones, a big piece of moss ...

bb: A little blue monster.

me: A little one might be harder to find. The more specific you are ahead of time, the harder it is to find something that satisfies your description.

bb: But it has to fit in the bucket!