Dreams

I woke up this morning from a rather peculiar dream. A baby dream for once. I think I had at least two during the night. I only remember a brief moment of the first one. Brian and I have put Benjamin on his stomach on the bed. He's wearing white and light blue pj's. He can lift his head up. And he proceeds to turn himself over to my delight. I am amazed, I mention that he is only two months old. Brian smiles and tells me he's been doing it all week. Apparently I've been at work during this time.

Second dream. I am in a large shower with the baby, showering while I hold her (yes, this time she's a girl) against my chest. I am thinking of what I should do if my hands get slippery and she starts to slip out of my grip. I decide that I should just sit down and protect her face from the water. Brian is around somewhere, he hears a noise and goes to investigate. I get out of the shower and wrap myself in a towel. My hair is a mess. We are not in our house. We are visiting the place Brian works for, which in the dream is this huge modern building with a dark warehouse attached to it. In the warehouse is a little house, where we are staying. If you step outside the door (you are still inside the warehouse) and look up you can see the windows into the main building. There is a reception going on and the windows (that look like they should be in an old mansion) are lit up gold. I am standing there, wrapped in a towel, holding a wet baby, when a man in a gray wool suit appears. He introduces himself as Hans, says he's looking for his hat -- which ends up being on our bed. It's a wool hat that matches his suit. He looks foreign and from another decade, but I know he is someone Brian works with. He asks if he can hold the baby, then mentions he's never held one before. I'm thinking of what to do. I want to ask him to sit down if he's going to hold the baby. I also think that I should swaddle her so that her fragile skin isn't against the wool. I go to swaddle her and realize that the nurses at the hospital never showed me how. My mother appears -- only for a second -- asks me if I know what I'm doing.

Scene change. Brian and I are in bed. The baby is now a boy and he is maybe a year old. He wants to snuggle in bed between us. I figure it's Saturday morning, why not.

New scene, same bed. Back to the first baby. Except that she's really tiny. Like a Barbie doll. I want to pick her up and I can't find her! She was in the bed a moment ago! I look everywhere. The bed morphs and becomes a bed/book shelves. I find tons and tons of pens and pencils, but no baby. I am panicking. I remind myself that this is just a dream and that I should wake up. And I wake up.

So how many times did I put our child (or children) in danger in these dreams?!

-maman